Never Ending Injustice
by number37andnumber475
Summary: Ok, we couldn't think of a good title. Let's see.. it's a few years after the Endless Waltz thing.. Heero and Relena get hitched.. Quatre is already with Dorothy, and Duo is with Hilde.. please read our fic, Relena dies! Yay! It's funny too! C'mon! Read i
1. Chapter 1

I really don't feel like doing all that disclaimer junk, since   
obviously me and Laura don't own Gundam Wing. If we did, we'd be rich   
and we'd be bragging about it all the time. So any ways... umm... to   
help this fic make a little more sense to anyone who's reading it, our   
friend actually wrote this fic and gave it to us to help edit. With the   
fic in our hands and nothing to stop us, we butchered the poor fic   
relentlessly. How did it turn out? Read and see! I'm not sure if bold   
letters shows up here on ff.net, but if it does, the bold is obviously   
the changes by Laura and myself. If it the bold doesn't show up, then I   
guess this fic while just seem really really weird to you. If you e-  
mail us and ask us nicely, maybe we'll send you the actual Microsoft   
word file so you can read it with the bold stuff. Maybe. Some of the   
stuff we added should be pretty obvious. Also as a lil' helper kind of   
thing, this fic used to be really serious. But obviously, we changed   
that quite a bit. ^.^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Never Ending Injustice  
  
  
Chapter 1   
At the sound of the bell you will not remember anything that happened   
in the past and you will think you are....   
a chicken!   
  
Duo Maxwell hurried to the front of the store.   
  
"Aww...just when I was about to close up too," he protested good-  
naturedly.   
"Still, business is business I guess."   
  
When he opened the door, he encountered a pair of cold blue eyes, eyes   
that would have seemed unwelcoming and   
dead to the average stranger.   
"Oh look, its another visiting corpse! Silly dead bodies.. why don't   
you stay in the ground.. oh! Heero! It's you!"   
But to Duo, they were the eyes of someone who he used to think was   
dead, but had now   
discovered otherwise.   
*flash back scene*   
Heero lay on the ground in an odd pose; limbs sticking out in random   
directions, looking, well, dead. A little   
girl saw him and ran away screaming in terror. Another man took out a   
cell phone to call 911 and report some   
dead body lying in the middle of the children's play ground.   
Duo fell out of some bushes, looking for Heero. He discovered the   
strange boy and poked his motionless,   
posing body with a stick.   
"Hey Heero! Wanna get some ice cream?"   
"Not now, I'm dead."   
"No you're not, you just talked."   
Heero sat up, looking somewhat shocked.   
"Really? I'm not dead?"   
"Yea.. you were alive yesterday too, baka."   
Heero shrugged and looked up to Duo.   
"So... still wanna get some ice cream?" asked Duo.   
"Sure."   
The two skipped merrily, arms linked, in the general direction of   
wherever an ice cream store might be.   
*end of flash back scene*   
Even in that moment, Duo's sharp eyes could detect a flicker of life   
in those eyes, a flicker of light found in those who have feelings and   
emotions or, somebody who just has a light   
being shined in their eye. But he   
didn't sit on it; he was just glad to see the man.   
  
"Heero! How are you? You haven't come by in so long that Hilde and I   
thought   
you'd pulled another one of your disappearing acts again or something!"   
  
The solemn man didn't say anything for a moment, but then the corners   
of his   
mouth twitched in the semblance of a smile. Heero then shoved the   
strange, solemn man away.   
  
"Oh come on Heero! Smile! Come on, is a true real smile all that   
difficult?"   
Duo goaded gently. "Really, for someone who has waged war against this   
entire   
planet and then some, a smile can't be all that difficult!"   
  
"Don't push it," Heero said wryly as he motioned to the weights hanging   
from each corner of his mouth, ending   
the subject, but he did do another   
one of his half smiles, causing him to break a sweat with the effort   
that was required to do so. "I've come to ask   
a favor..." he began, but then trailed off awkwardly.   
  
"Favor?! You, ask for favors?!" Duo exclaimed, then rapidly subsided   
when he   
saw the steely glint in Heero's eyes. "Alright," he said briskly, "what   
can I do for   
you?"   
  
"Well..."Heero began in a strangled voice, then straightened his   
shoulders and   
shot the man who had been strangling him, "I need you suggest to me a,   
ah, romantic place for   
dinner," he finally choked out. Suddenly, he spontaneously combusted   
and slowly formed back together.   
  
Duo stared for a moment, too stunned to speak, and then managed, "Well,   
ah,   
sure, Heero, but WHAT THE HECK FOR?!"   
  
"Um, well I was planning on going to the romantic restaurant to have a   
romantic meal.. is that ok with you??"   
  
"Don't be so cold Duo!" a new voice chided gently. Hilde walked in,   
trailed by   
a bouncy three-year-old rubber ball on a string tied to her left ankle.   
"Heero, it's so nice to see you again! Duo and   
I were hoping, I mean afraid you would never come back!"   
  
  
"So I've heard."   
  
"So what is it that you need? A romantic restaurant?" she inquired.   
  
Encouraged by his tentative nod, she continued, "A personal favorite of   
mine is the French   
restaurant across town. It can be a little difficult to get   
reservations, but since we've done the   
manager a few times, well more than a few times, wink wink nudge nudge"   
Hilde chortled, " I think we can get   
you reservations. When do you need them?"   
  
"Tonight."   
  
"Okay," she said. "That shouldn't be too difficult."   
  
Heero nodded. "Thank you, I owe you one dollar" Heero handed Duo a   
one-dollar bill.   
  
"Really, Heero! Gee thanks!" Duo said as he pocketed the dollar.   
  
Heero's mouth twitched again and at that moment, Heero suddenly dropped   
to the ground, convulsing, but no   
one said anything. Instead, he looked   
down at Hilde's little bouncy ball whom she had named Jericho, Jerry   
for short.   
  
"Hi Uncle Heero!" the child said enthusiastically.   
  
"Hello Jerry," Heero responded, twitching all the while. "I wonder what   
our internal organs would look like... on a   
platter." he thought to himself as he unwittingly phased out into   
space. "Whoops," he said and phased back.   
  
Duo and Hilde exchanged glances. Regardless of how much he had   
changed, it was   
very unlike Heero to phaze out; rather, he was usually very sedentary.   
  
"Heero," Hildebegan said gently (Hildebegan is the Maxwell's maid and   
will never be mentioned again... well   
maybe once... or twice.. oh well we will just have to wait and see),   
"would this restaurant have anything to do with   
Relena and the box I saw you   
walk out of the jewelry store with this afternoon while I was   
shopping?"   
  
Heero abruptly jerked himself back to reality and stared at Hilde in   
shock.   
  
"How did she know I planned to kill her and bury her bloody corpse in a   
box?!" he thought to himself furiously.   
  
At the same time, Duo whirled around to stare at his wife.   
  
"WHAT?!" he exclaimed. "Jewelry store?!"   
  
"I...I mean..er, well, what I meant was... "Heero stuttered, then gave   
up; it   
would be useless to try to deny it. "I wouldn't have been like this   
five years ago!" he   
thought. "Why did I change?", then answered his own question. "I fell   
off a cliff, that's what... I never have been   
the same since that amnesia set in."   
  
"Wow! Jewelry store, huh? Heero, you son of a gun, you're finally   
going to do   
it!" Duo cheered.   
  
Jerry supported his father. "Uncle Heero, are you gonna get   
married? Please don't uncle Heero please!! Relena is a mean nasty   
bitch!"   
  
"She might not say yes you know," Heero said stiffly. "I mean, I've   
threatened to kill her quite a few times, tried to   
kill her brother Zechs, and treated her like the stupid bitch she is...   
I mean... I treated her unkindly."   
  
Going up to Heero, Duo howled into his ear, "HEERO NO BAKA! You idiot!   
Of   
course she's going to say yes! She's been stalking obsessively you   
ever since she first met you!   
Really!"   
  
As Duo howled at the moon about Heero's lack of sense, Hilde pointedly   
ignored her   
insane husband and instead focused on Heero. "Heero, that's   
wonderful!" she said.   
  
"But are you sure you want to propose in a crowded restaurant? Why not   
take her   
out for dinner, then suggest a visit to the wal-mart near here and   
propose there? that would be much more romantic,   
standing in the aisles of a store where you can buy your groceries, a   
tent, and some underwear, and eat atMc   
Donald's all in the same place." Hilde said with a dreamy glint in her   
eye at the thought.   
  
"Alright," Heero agreed. "Thanks for your help."   
  
"Hey, Relena's not the only one who's been waiting for you to propose,"   
Hilde   
joked.   
  
"We'll get you your reservations, and the rest is up to you, okay?"   
Heero   
nodded, then turned to leave. "Thanks for everything."   
  
"Bye Heero!" Duo called cheerfully. "Good luck, not that you'll need   
it,   
hehe."   
  
a few hours later...   
  
"Heero, it was so nice of you to invite me out to dinner," Relena said   
kindly.   
"You don't know how much I appreciate this," she continued as Heero   
pulled out her hair   
for her.   
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!," Relena screamed in pain but Heero reminded   
her that unless she shut   
up he would kill her and shove her in the big box he stole from the   
jewelry store.   
  
Heero managed to choke out a few words that made no sense to even him   
as he   
nervously sat in his own seat. The now bald Relena regarded Heero   
curiously. Even if she had known   
him for so long, he was sometimes still a mystery to her. But she   
didn't mind that. Her   
enigmatic hair was something she was used to and admired...and now it   
was gone forever, never to be hers   
again.   
  
"But I don't know if he feels that way too..." she thought.   
"Then again, he's already promised me he   
won't leave again," she reassured herself, "So he must feel as much   
blind hatred as I do for him." and she knew   
how difficult it was to receive a   
promise like that out of someone like Heero. Then she remembered that   
she had tied him to a chair and held a   
match near his blankie, threatening to burn it if he wouldn't promise   
to never leave again. She remembered   
his girlish scream and cackled evilly. "But still...why is he so   
nervous? Maybe I shouldn't have threatened him   
like that.."   
  
Heero, well aware that Relena was observing him, attempted to regain   
his   
composure by donning the cold mask made of steal he had often used   
during his battles in the war years ago to   
scare off those he was fighting. It usually worked too because it had a   
large purple teletubbie on the front.   
  
"My mask looks good," he said stiffly, hoping that there that actually   
steak on the menu, not a hunk of rubber like   
last time, cause he liked steak a lot.   
"The mask looks delicious," Relena said as she ripped it off of the   
unsuspecting pilot's face and began to eat it,   
progressing rather slowly since it was made of metal.   
  
The only thing Heero managed to do was cower in fear, and he called the   
waiter over to take the freak eating a   
metal mask away from him.   
  
Meanwhile...   
  
"Duo, WHY are we doing this?!" Hilde whispered furiously. "I mean it is   
kind of crowded to do it in this tent in the   
wal-mart outdoors department don't you think? And this is the Wal-Mart   
Heero and Relena are going to come   
to in a while. and what's that camera for?"   
  
As he struggled to hunch down behind the electric lantern and juggle   
the camera and answer   
an indignant Hilde at the same time, Duo hissed, "Hey, he's going to   
thank me for   
this one day! And besides, they're not here yet!"   
  
"Which is why we should take this opportunity to GO HOME! And why would   
he thank you for groping me in a tent   
with a camera?"   
  
Suddenly Wufei crawled out of a neighboring tent and dusted himself   
off. He looked around briefly, then   
turned his attention to Duo. He raised and eyebrow and walked off,   
tripping on the tent display platform,   
causing him to land flat on his face.   
"INJUSTICE!!!!"   
  
"Oh come on Hilde! I KNOW you want to do this."   
  
"Well...yes, but a camera?! Duo, you aren't going to put pics of us   
screwing in Wal-mart up on the internet   
again, are you??"   
  
Duo grinned, ";Aw, c'mon Hilde! You know just as well that no matter   
how mad   
you get, you will be too dizzy with happiness to care or remember this   
incident, because   
all you'll be thinking about at that point is Relena!"   
  
Hilde sighed. "Fine, FINE!" she said, throwing up her legs in   
exasperation.   
"I'm out of arguments, but I still don't think this is a good..." she   
started but was   
abruptly cut off as Duo kissed her.   
  
Regarding his stunned wife with satisfaction, Duo said smugly,   
"You were saying?"   
  
an hour later...   
  
Relena regarded Heero with a worried expression. Heero had barely said   
a word   
all evening, besides asking her five times how her mask was without   
looking at her for fear of seeing something he   
did not wish to see... Relena.   
He had also taken barely taken 470 bites of his steak.   
  
"Heero," she started, "is something wrong?"   
  
"NO!" shouted Heero, but calmed down and said, "no, I'm just not very   
hungry, that's all," then added somewhat awkwardly, "I'm sorry if I   
spoiled this evening for   
you."   
  
"Oh no, Heero!" Relena exclaimed. "I'm on fire! Don't worry; I love   
it!" she blurted in a rush.   
  
Heero felt a surge of warmth rush through him; probably because the   
flames were growing larger and getting   
quite near him and she had said she loved it.   
"Well," he thought, "may as well get it done with." Heero said hastily   
and absent-mindedly sprayed her with a fire   
extinguisher.   
  
Standing, he said, "You know, it's too crowded here." as he scanned the   
room, seeing only 4 people, quietly   
dining. "Let's go to Wal-Mart."   
  
Relena stood also and smiled; Heero was finally cooling off. "That   
would be wonderful,"   
she said.   
  
"Let's go then," Heero said, offering her an arm that he had ripped off   
from an innocent person walking to the   
bathroom.   
  
  
at Wal-Mart...   
  
"Here they come," Hilde whispered.   
  
Readying his camera, Duo smirked, "Who's eager now, huh? Ow!" he   
added, as   
Hilde gave his braid a yank.   
  
"Keep it down and maybe no one will see us here," she snarled quietly   
in an effort to hide her embarrassment as   
the shoppers who walked by stared in shock at the naked couple lying in   
the broccoli.   
  
The two watched Heero and Relena walk down the path. Neither were   
talking, but   
both looked wretched and possessed. As Relena was admiring the large   
florescent lighting, Heero would keep   
sliding his eyes over to her and then anxiously slip his hand inside   
his purse to reassure   
himself that the box was still there.(it was compactable) Finally, he   
stopped in front of an isle, near where Duo and   
Hilde were "hiding".   
  
"Let's sit," he said, then berated himself mentally for sounding so   
persnippity.   
  
Relena, however, did not notice, and merely sat on the cold, hard   
linoleum, smiling up at him.   
  
"Isn't it so wonderful in here Heero?" she asked, smiling serenely.   
"It's times   
like these that really makes me think that fighting was a heck of a lot   
more interesting than this story. What do you   
think, Heero? Heero!" she gasped, since he was already flat on his   
back, doing some bizarre, possessed dance   
and foaming at the mouth.   
  
"Here it comes!" Duo whispered excitedly, he sat up quickly and let out   
the loudest, biggest burp ever.   
  
"Relena," Heero choked, "I don't know how to say this because I'm   
afraid I'm   
not a romantic person, but even though I have so many faults...I think   
you are a hideous freak of nature. How did   
you get so ugly?" he finally finished.   
  
"Heero!" Relena cried, "Oh Heero!" then she started sobbing.   
  
Heero felt his heart rise, he thought Relena was finally dying, but   
then Relena flung her arms around a passing   
stranger and cried on his shoulder.   
  
"Of course I will Heero! Oh, I thought you'd never ask; this is the   
happiest day of my life!" she managed.   
  
Temporarily stunned by her outburst, Heero slowly perceived the meaning   
of her words. "You mean...you   
mean...WHAT?!!?" he said out of utter confusion, afraid to believe what   
she had said.   
  
"YES!" she cried, "Yes, Heero Yuy, I will marry you! But aren't you   
supposed to give me a ring or something??   
What happened to that??"   
  
"I don't remember asking you to marry me at all.." muttered the   
confused gundam pilot.   
  
"Shut up!" snapped Relena as she clung to Heero's arm, her eyes shaped   
like hearts. Not actual, pink hearts   
like in the cartoons, but her eye sockets mutated to become shaped like   
hearts. It was indeed a very   
disturbing thing to see. It frightened a small child and deeply   
concerned a few people passing by, but did not   
frighten them as much as Hilde and Duo, still lying in the broccoli in   
their birthday suits.   
  
And at that moment the camera exploded, causing shards of plastic to   
embed themselves in Relena's face,   
turning her into a hideous, deformed freak, even more so than she used   
to be.   
  
Wufei walked by, carrying a small basket of assorted goods, humming   
"I'm a Little Tea Pot", when he   
suddenly caught site of Hilde and Duo. He dropped his basket and his   
stuff scattered across the floor. The   
poor boy lay there on the linoleum, covering his eyes, trying to forget   
the burning image of Duo's bare hind   
end. Finally, he managed to choke out one word...   
"INJUSTICE!!!"  



	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2   
  
a few months later...   
  
"Which is better, the pink or the blue?" Relena asked Dorothy as she   
whirled   
around holding up two sets of knives.   
  
"Blue," Dorothy said immediately. "It matches your eyes."   
  
"I think the blue is beautiful, Miss Relena," Mariemaia said, not   
looking up as she continued to carve her Relena   
voodoo doll from a hunk of mishapen wood.   
  
After the near disaster with her abusive, child-molesting father a few   
years back, Mariemaia had become a much   
quieter child. In fact, she had been downright withdrawn for a year   
before Lady Une had managed to gently coax her   
out of her shell. Mariemaia was not too happy to give up her ninja   
turtle costume, but Une had offered her a   
cookie and you can never turn down free food.   
  
"You think so?" Relena smiled at the solemn girl. "Yes, I have to   
agree with   
you two. I like the blue too. Okay then," she said, turning to the   
slapjack , "now, which   
is better, white with pink and yellow or white with purple and blue?"   
  
"Relena!" her mother laughed. "Relax! You still have several months,   
and the   
majority of the details haven't all been planned. You just need to   
decide on the final   
details, oh, and the other ones too. Hmm, I guess you're screwed after   
all."   
  
"Your mother is right Relena," Dorothy agreed. "The church has been   
burned down to the ground, the plans with   
the restaurant and reception terminated, the musicians have been dealt   
with so that they won't run away in terror   
anymore when they see you, your dress and the dresses of the   
bridesmaids have been ripped to shreds, and   
flower girl," she added, acknowledging   
Mariemaia, who then flipped her off, "altered so that flower petals   
shoot at incredibly high speeds from her   
hands, Heero's found a suit he actually likes, a purple bunny suit that   
is, and the same goes for the others, your   
brother has been found and brutally tortured until he promised to come,   
the press has been informed..."   
  
"Oh the press!" Relena said disgustedly. "They're so nosy!"   
  
"Yes, well, you ARE Relena Peacecraft," Dorothy said mildly. "It's   
something a   
princess must deal with. Every one knows that once you become famous,   
you are not allowed to have any   
privacy whatsoever."   
  
"And I'm sure they can't be as bad as Duo," Hilde remarked, remembering   
the   
incident a few months back. Relena had to laugh at that one, seeing as   
how Hilde had a gun pointed to her head.   
"Yes, I remember the look on   
Heero's face quite well," she chuckled. "It was most interesting to   
see the expressions on   
his face change back and forth."   
  
At first, Heero had been completely shocked, then livid with   
rage, and then his mouth twitched and he burst out laughing insanely.   
His eyes glowed a demonic red as he   
pulled out a dagger and stabbed Duo several times. Of course, he had   
given Duo's braid   
an extra hard tug afterwards, but somehow Duo survived, contradicting   
what Hilde had hoped.. I mean predicted.   
  
"He requested copies of the picture later didn't he," Relena said, and   
Hilde questioned, "what picture?".   
  
"Exactly what happened?" Dorothy demanded. "I've heard this story so   
many   
times, but I'm still confused."   
  
"Well gosh, SOMEBODY's a retard. *cough*Dorothy." said Relena in a   
rather menacing tone.   
  
"Duo went out on a suicide mission and he dragged me with him," Hilde   
said. "We hid in the produce section of   
wal-mart for nearly 3 1/2 minutes, but sadly the camera exploded and   
those hideous scars on Relena's are   
from the shards of plastic that embedded themselves into her skin. He   
had intended for that to kill him   
instead it just made Relena horribly disfigured.   
  
"And Heero let him get away with it?" Dorothy said incredulously. "I'm   
surprised, no, I'm downright shocked!" Dorothy added, as she pulled her   
finger from the electric outlet on the   
wall.   
  
"Yes, well, Heero HAS changed," Relena said softly, staring off into   
space, mentally picturing the strange green   
tentacles that had sprouted from his arms.   
"But enough of that," she said abruptly. "What about these slapjacks?"   
  
Everyone gave a small sigh, then burst out laughing as they all said in   
unison, "God Relena, you're such an idiot.   
Shut up about your damn slapjacks, already!"   
  
downstairs...   
  
"So Heero, am I a good photographer or am I not?" Duo said smugly,   
admiring an   
enlarged version of the picture he took months ago. It only showed   
Heero's elbow and an obese, sweaty woman   
with a hairy chin, but they hung it up any way. "NOW are you glad you   
didn't rip the camera from my hands and   
tear out the film?"   
  
Heero grunted, trying to ignore Duo, which is what he usually did   
whenever Duo   
became particularly annoying.   
  
"I still don't understand why you let him get away with it," Wufei   
remarked, "I   
probably wouldn't have if I were in your position."   
  
"Relena has changed him," Trowa said calmly noticing the diaper Heero   
was wearing from his usual position,   
leaned   
against the wall with his arms crossed. "Not that I'm saying it's a   
bad thing. Cause he would really stink if she   
didn't"   
  
"Oh come on you guys, leave Heero alone," Quatre said as he offered   
them a buscuit.   
  
"Leave him alone?! Oh come on Quatre, have some FUN! Be adventurous!"   
Duo   
teased.   
  
"I usually leave that up to Dorothy," Quatre said somewhat weakly.   
  
Wufei let out a snort. "Oink oink! I'm a piggy!" Wufei giggled, very   
proud of his statement.   
  
"Dorothy's changed!" Quatre said defensively. "She doesn't pretend to   
love war   
like she used to, and she's different now!"   
  
"With just the occasional extreme mood swing," Duo ate a snickers.   
  
"Lay on Quatre now," Trowa said but no one followed his command. "It's   
not his fault that Dorothy was   
raised the way she was."   
  
"It's okay Trowa," Quatre smiled. "I know that they're just joking   
around.   
Anyway, isn't Zechs supposed to be coming back today? I haven't seen   
him or Miss Noin,   
er, Mrs. Merquise, for years!"   
  
Heero nodded. "They said they would come at two. It's almost one now.   
Why the hell aren't they here yet!! oh   
wait never mind. "   
  
Just then Relena, Dorothy, Hilde, and Mariemaia fell downstairs.   
  
"Hey how's the bachelor party coming along?" Dorothy called out in   
greeting as   
she went to wrap her arms around Quatre. Quatre blushed and smiled a   
somewhat deleterious   
grin.   
  
  
  
Shocked, Duo stood up. "THIS is our bachelor party?! Where the hell is   
the stripper? Heero! You suck at   
bachelor parties! I'm going home!!" he shouted as he stormed off, not   
quite sure about where the exit was.   
  
  
  
Wufei rolled his eyes, and everyone else hid a smile. It was common   
knowledge   
that Dorothy definitely was the dominant one in the relationship. Duo   
had even joked once   
that she probably had a leash that she chained him to, which had earned   
him a hard smack on the   
ass from Dorothy and a painful tug on his left lung from Hilde.   
  
"We're just fine," Quatre said, still with the silly grin plastered on   
his   
face, unfortunately, Quatre's talking cracked the plaster and his grin   
fell off. Just then the door opened, and in   
walked Lady Une. Though Mariemaia was the   
illegitimate daughter of Lady Une's late lover, Treize Kushrenada, and   
Leia Barton, Lady Une still   
hated Mariemaia very much.   
  
"Mariemaia, it's time to go home. You have school tomorrow," she said   
after greeting the others with a brief nod.   
  
Obediently, Mariemaia stood to go.   
  
"What, you put your daughter to bed at 2 in the afternoon???" a voice   
remarked. As everyone turned around, in   
walked Zechs,   
Lucrezia, and their two children, identical twins Reena and Aelis, who   
were three years   
old.   
  
Leaping to her feet, Relena ran over to her brother. "Zechs!" she   
cried,   
flinging her arms at him, "your hair is so long!"   
  
Smiling faintly down at her, Zechs reprimanded her harshly, "I am no   
longer a   
Peacecraft, and so therefore I am not your brother, so get the hell   
away from me, you psychotic bitch. Seeing as   
how I genetically altered myself to no longer be related to you in any   
way, you are not allowed to touch me at   
all."   
  
But he still returned the embrace, and then turned his gun to Heero.   
The two stared at each other for a minute, finally   
Zechs   
extended his hand as he ripped off his cheaply made Zechs Merquise   
mask, revealing himself to be Vegeta   
from Dragon Ball Z. His extended hand glowed with the flow of charging   
ki and he fired a big bang attack at   
Heero. The attack "accidentally" missed and killed Relena instead.   
  
"Heero Yuy," he began formally, "we meet again, and finally under the   
joyous   
circumstances. Of my sis.. I mean that stupid chicks death."   
  
Heero simply nodded, and everyone held their breath. Zechs and Heero   
had once   
been enemies; how would they react now that they would have a common   
link between the   
two of them? Finally, Heero extended his hand also, revealing himself   
to be Piccolo as he fired a makankosappo   
and everyone breathed again. Relena   
stopped looking anxiously from one to the other, seeing as she was   
dead.   
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere emerged Relena-tron 5000. Every one rolled   
their eyes in annoyance that Relena   
was back, or at least some grotesque android that looked and acted   
exactly like her.   
  
Relena-tron 5000 turned her attention to Lucrezia. "Miss Noin, I'm   
glad to finally see   
you again! I never got a chance to thank you for helping with my terra   
cotta forming   
project! Or wait, it's Mrs. Merquise now isn't it?"   
  
Lucrezia smiled and said, "For old time's sake, let's just call me Miss   
Noin.   
I've never really liked the concept of changing last names especially   
when it is such a crappy one."   
  
Wufei let out another snort, though this time a discreet one. Though   
he had to   
admit to himself grudgingly that Miss Noin had indeed proven her   
prowess on the   
battlefield, Wufei still had difficulties overcoming his chauvinistic   
beliefs, mainly because he saw no   
reason to. As he took a closer look, he saw the two little girls   
mauling each other. "Twins," he muttered to himself.   
Wufei hated twins. When he was younger, he had a twin, Hildebegan. She   
had been an evil, sadistic twin who   
always abused him to the point where he spent his days in the crib   
cowering in the corner, twitching in fear.   
Then an unexpected pain went through him, like a icy hand gripping his   
heart. Jerking   
himself upright, he quickly pulled his katana out of his chest, which   
he had accidentally leaned on. He didn't   
care that he was at a wedding, he HAD to have his beloved katana   
wherever he went.   
"INJUSTICE!!!" screamed Wufei for no apparent reason..  



	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3   
  
"Where is my voodoo dolly?" Mariemaia nearly cried with frustration.   
"I'd hate to not   
ruin this day for Miss Relena-tron 5000, especially after what happened   
three years ago," she   
thought miserably.   
  
"Is this it?" Hilde asked, holding out a basket of rose petals.   
  
"Um.. no but thanks anyway" Mariemaia said, taking the basket   
grudgingly so that Hilde would go away.   
  
Even though Lady Une and the others had told her repeatedly that it   
wasn't her fault; that she had simply   
been a puppet of her power-hungry grandfather Dekim, she still felt   
that it wasn't fair and that she should get   
credit for it. Even at school,   
some of her classmates still regarded her with mistrust, well duh   
wouldn't you if you had the girl who tried to take   
over the world in you class?? She could still remember a little girl,   
dressed in silly clown regime, declaring war , and   
threatening to throw a tantrum if anyone was mean to her and refused to   
pet her freak on a leash. Mariemaia   
couldn't help but   
shiver a little; its was January 17th and only 5 degrees, even with a   
heater in the building! As she hurried out to   
get ready to walk up   
the aisle, she couldn't help but pray silently as she jabbed her voodoo   
doll that she had just discovered hiding in   
her pocket with needles, "Please let something go wrong; please let   
something go wrong..."   
  
Elsewhere, Relena-tron 5000 was being fussed over by at least ten   
people who couldn't figure out how to turn her   
off.   
  
"Mother, I am so nervous!" she said.   
  
Fluffing her daughter's veil, Mrs. Darlian said soothingly, "Don't   
worry   
Relena, everything is going to be fine. I felt the same way when I   
married your   
father. Well, no I didn't, I am just doing a bad job of trying to make   
you feel better."   
  
At the mention of Vice Foreign Minister Darlian, mother and daughter   
fell over, resembling the horrible day five years   
ago when he had been assassinated, and drawn on   
by Lady Une.   
  
"I wish Father could be here with me today," Relena-tron 5000 said   
softly. She still had   
difficulty with the fact that she would have to walk down the aisle   
alone, since she lost her right leg last week and   
she had a lot of trouble walking without assistance.   
  
Relena-tron 5000 quickly shook herself out of that trance; it would do   
no good to cry.   
And besides, she thought somewhat ruefully, the press would have a   
field day at the zoo if they   
saw her walk out with puffy eyes and smeared makeup and she didn't'   
want them to have any fun.   
  
"Relena-tron 5000, it's time," Miss Noin called from the doorway.   
"Mariemaia has already   
taken her place, and the bridesmaids have almost completely entered the   
chapel also. Oh   
yes," she added humorously, "Jerry called out, 'Hi Mom! Hi Dad! and   
Please don't let Heero marry Relena-tron   
5000 I hate her' but other than that,   
everything is going perfectly."   
  
Relena-tron 5000 nodded. "Thank you Miss Noin," she called. Then   
taking a deep breath,   
she stepped out.   
the wedding pretty much sucked so we decided to skip that part...   
after the wedding...   
  
Relena-tron 5000 was exhausted. There simply was no other word for it.   
She had thought   
flying around on shuttles to attend meetings around the clock had been   
difficult, but   
standing through a ceremony, taking hundreds of pictures, shaking   
hundreds of hands, posing for the   
media, and all the while keeping a smile on her face had exhausted her.   
As she glanced over at   
Heero, who had not shaken anyone's hand and had only inclined his head   
slightly to each   
well-wisher, she could tell he felt the same. Despite the fact that he   
was an ex-soldier, the fatigue   
was faintly visible in his eyes, or maybe it was boredom, she thought   
wryly. She sighed,   
but then slipped her hand through his, and was comforted when he ripped   
her arm off.   
  
After the long line of well-wishers had passed, Relena-tron 5000 and   
Heero escaped to the   
limousine that awaited them to take them to the restaurant for the   
reception.   
Once inside, Relena-tron 5000 heaved a big boulder at Heero.   
  
"Heero, sometimes I wish I weren't a princess," she couldn't help but   
complain   
to him. "All this protocol to follow, and all these fancy details! It   
gets so   
aggravating!"   
  
Heero's mouth twitched. "God, you are such a whiney bitch," he said   
simply, but looked at her with   
such evil hatred that Relena-tron 5000 felt some of her exhaustion slip   
away. Sighing, she   
leaned against him.   
  
"But you know what Heero?" she said softly, "I couldn't be happier   
right now.   
Odd, isn't it?"   
  
Heero didn't respond, but she knew he felt the same.   
  
However, this tender moment would not last. (Thank God)   
Because all of the sudden the heard a thunk and looked behind them   
seeing Wufei's bloody body being   
dragged behind the car. He had been standing behind the limousine   
smoking a cigarette when it drove off   
only to find that his suit had somehow got caught on the car dragging   
him to his almost certain death. So as   
rocks and pebbles and other various road shrapnel became wrenched into   
poor Wufei he let out a week cry   
of, "INJUSTICE!"   
  



	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4   
  
The private moment Heero and Relena-tron 5000 had been sharing was   
suddenly interrupted (thank God).   
As they were heading towards the restaurant, Heero suddenly stiffened   
and stared out the   
window, but then he usually did that when he was that close to Relena.   
  
Sensing his tension, Relena-tron 5000 promptly sat up.   
  
"Heero, what's wrong?"   
  
Heero didn't respond, only looked grimly through the window. Relena-  
tron 5000 was   
shocked to see the expression on his face; he had donned the Teletubbie   
Mask of Doom once again, the same   
mask that he had had during the war. It was a face Relena-tron 5000   
was terrified of, the mask of being   
totally devoted to a cause, whether it be right or wrong, and willing   
to shove aside anything, even Relena-tron 5000,   
in its path. Then she looked out the window.   
  
"Why are all those people gathered around that skyscraper staring at   
the   
screen? Wait...there's someone on that screen! (well no duh Relena-tron   
5000 hundreds of people gathered   
around to watch a completely blank screen) But I can't tell who it   
is...Heero, do   
you know who that is? Heero?!"   
  
But Heero had already opened the door to the slowly stopping car and   
jumped   
out.   
  
"Stop the car!" Relena-tron 5000 ordered, and followed Heero.   
  
"Umm.. we're already doing that.. that would be why the car is slowing   
down."   
  
"Shut up and stop damnit!"   
  
Heero grimly strode towards the mob of people gathered around the   
building, or   
more specifically, the giant screen mounted on the building. As he   
walked, he   
couldn't help but think has this screen always been here? And if not   
didn't anyone notice the hundreds of men   
it must have taken to put it there? I mean they must have closed this   
road for weeks. Here he was, on the   
*cough* happiest day of his life, and   
suddenly this mysterious figure appeared. Though nothing seemed to   
have happened so far,   
Heero had not spent his years fighting in vain; well, actually yes he   
had but, shut up! stop discouraging him.   
  
Relena-tron 5000 followed Heero, squeezing through the still growing   
mob. She could   
barely keep up with Heero, who was heading his way towards the front of   
the crowd. As she   
neared the front, she could already see Duo and Hilde, Zechs and Noin,   
Trowa, Wufei, Quatre and   
Dorothy, and Lady Une with Mariemaia. They had some how magically beat   
the limo there even through the mob   
of wedding press and well-wishers.   
  
On the screen was a figure in shadow. It was impossible to identify the   
speaker, let alone determine whether it was male or female, even though   
everyone hoped that no female had   
such a masculine build. Then suddenly, they realized that it indeed WAS   
a woman, or at least she said she   
was. The figure in shadow was... Chyna! The 9th wonder of the world!.   
She appeared to be regarding the   
Gundam pilots with a coolly appraising look. As Relena-tron 5000 went   
to join Heero, it shifted its   
stare towards her, probably because she was so hideously ugly.   
  
"Greetings, Mrs. Relena-tron 5000 Peacecraft Darlian Yuy," the figure   
said, gasping for breath by the time he   
managed to say her entire name. but the voice   
was so icy and devoid of human emotion that Relena-tron 5000 was taken   
a back pack.   
  
"Greeti-" she started to respond, but a swift look from Heero convinced   
her   
otherwise Most likely because red lazers shot from his eyes punching   
holes through her back and voice box.   
  
"I am the pilot of the mobile suit known as Tinky Winky, and I am   
addressing you on   
behalf of an elite organization. This organization is small, nameless,   
in fact it is completely non-exsistant... I   
mean.. FEAR ME!!! For these past years, they have been watching this   
planet and the   
space colonies closely, and-   
  
"What is your point?" Zechs demanded in a harsh voice.   
  
The figure curled her lips upward in a mockery of a smile. "Mr. Zechs   
Merquise, yes, you have always disliked elaborate speech. Forgive me,"   
the figure said   
sarcastically, "for offending you. Let me try saying this is much   
simpler terms that you can understand. Let's   
see... how should I say... 'Yo Momma!' But per your request, I will cut   
to the chase, so to speak. Mrs. Yuy, they are   
declaring war."   
  
"War?! But why? There has been continuous peace for the last few   
years."   
  
"Exactly. I won't try to hide it; we have very very short attention   
spans, so we are getting rather bored of peace.   
C'mon! Let's see something blow up! so therefore, with the colonies and   
Earth completely defenseless, We will   
achieve nothing by defeating them, but they will be easy targets and   
lots of fun to blow up. One bold stroke, and   
you will all be at   
their mercy."   
  
"You speak as if you are not a part of this 'elite organization,'"   
Heero spoke   
up cooly as he pulled on a pair of MIB-style shades and did a thumbs-up   
to the camera.   
  
"What about you? What do you plan on getting out of this?"   
  
"Nothing...absolutely nothing. I am simply very very stupid. And there   
is also a man behind with a gun to my   
head." There are muffled whispers. "I mean," the figure began again   
not very convincingly, "I am just really   
really devoted to this stupid cause."   
  
"Then why fight?!" Relena-tron 5000 cried in frustration. "Surely you   
are skilled enough   
to break away from these tyrants!"   
  
"Uhhh... that is my concern, and none of yours, Mrs. Yuy." The figure   
then muttered quietly to himself, saying   
something about "damn dirty apes."   
  
"So now what?" Wufei spoke up. "You've declared war; we are   
defenseless; what   
now? INJUSTICE!!!!"   
  
Even though he had not spoke calmly, inside, Wufei was seething. "How   
could I have been   
so stupid?! As a Preventer, I should have been able to detect this a   
long time ago! How long   
have they been planning this takeover? INJUSTICE TIMES INFINITY!!!' He   
just realized he had been speaking out   
loud and blushed,.   
  
"My superiors are in favor of striking now, as we speak. But I...have   
convinced them otherwise."   
  
"Why? To humiliate us?"   
  
"You are truly a member of the Chang clan; the emphasis you place on   
your pride   
is obvious. Be careful; it will be your downfall. But yes, that is my   
general idea. You look so silly when you are all   
mad."   
  
"INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   
  
"Touche, Wufei, I admit your point."   
  
"And you STILL haven't answered my question!"   
  
"I just did, Chang Wufei. Gosh, you really ARE stupid. I have my   
reasons, which are not your concern. But I will   
tell you this: I have bought you three years, cost me one pretty penny   
too."   
The camera pans over to show a shelf with several very shiny pennies on   
it, "Get it? PRETTY PENNY??   
hahahahahaha On this day, AC 203, we will attack.   
You have until now to then to prepare yourselves. Arm yourselves   
however you wish."   
  
Quatre spoke up, "Really? Any way we want? Spoons? Leaf blowers?   
ANYTHING?"   
  
A brief silence, and the figure smiled again. "Tinky Winky and I will   
be waiting   
for you. But our fight is not with the civilians. It is YOU we wish to   
fight."   
  
"Well damn, there go my plans of forcing the civilians into battle...   
Why do you want to fight the stupid   
gundam pilots anyhow?" Hilde   
demanded.   
  
"Because then this story would have no plot, duh!," the figure stated   
flatly. "In fact, I have doubts about the abilities of you pilots as   
well, but that   
doesn't matter. You will represent the people of Earth and the   
colonies. Defeat myself and Tinky Winky   
along with the very few other members of our little group, and you have   
saved your future.   
Lose..." and the figure let the sentence hang. "Also, by fighting you   
alone, the number of   
casualties will be minimized, though others are welcome to commit   
suicide by attempting to   
challenge me. Well, actually, if you all attacked me at once, I'm sure   
you could beat me and not have   
ANYBODY die, but hey, where's the fun in that???" the speaker added   
sardonically.   
  
"Since when were we concerned about civilian casualties?!" Dorothy   
snapped.   
Shrugging off Quatre's arm which then fell to the floor, she continued,   
" I mean I just ran over six small children   
trying to get here. Your dictatorship that you are threatening to   
establish will result in the loss of lives as it is; no one   
will be willing to accept your   
tyrannical rule, and we will all fight and die rather than accept it!"   
  
The crowd cheered when Dorothy fell face down in reverence. Actually,   
somebody just shoved her down since   
her eyebrows are so freakishly ugly.   
  
But the figure was not at all intimidated. "Miss Dorothy, let us worry   
about that later. Focus yourself on plucking   
your damn eyebrows. My advice to you is to establish a base in space;   
the   
little 'summer home' you and Quatre have used for many a, ah,   
interesting, evening, will suffice." Without waiting for   
Quatre or Dorothy to say anything, the figure continued. "Yes, I DO   
know what you have been doing in there..   
and it's all recorded on my handy dandy spy cameras. I never really   
knew that it was your house, but I just   
wanted to spy on somebody, and who'da thunk it, it was you! Don't think   
I haven't made quite the profit from   
your little.. 'movies'."   
  
Dorothy could feel her cheeks turn red, she had landed on a ketchup   
packet when she fell over, and Quatre   
groaned because he just discovered that Dorothy had shot him with a   
poison arrow and he would soon be   
asleep for several days.   
  
  
But the speaker seemed oblivious, simply continuing with, "And one more   
thing: if you plan on rebuilding your   
gundams the exact way as they were four years ago, forget it. You will   
be crushed, and I hate wasting   
time. Even though I'm going to go float around in space doing   
absolutely nothing for 3 years. I look forward to   
meeting you in battle in three years."   
  
"Wait!" someone in the crowd (named RELENA-TRON 5000 PEACECRAFT DARLIAN   
YUY). "How do we know   
you're not bluffing, huh? This   
could be some joke for all we know!"   
  
"Quiet!" Heero hissed, whirling around, but it was too late; the damage   
was   
done.   
  
"So you need proof, is that it?" the figure said coldly. "Well, then,   
here is   
your proof. I hope you enjoy the fireworks." Turning around, the   
figure barked,   
"Detonate satellite MO4 now!"   
  
"NO!" shouted Relena-tron 5000. "There are civili-"   
  
Her words were cut off as a bright flash lit the area. Fearfully, the   
entire   
crowd turned towards its source: a ball of explosive light as bright as   
a supernova   
was in the sky. The crowed watched in amazement and cries of, "ooh,"   
and "Ahhh," were heard.   
  
"There's your proof. Goodbye," the figure said dully, and disappeared.   
  
"Oh no! Sally Po was on that satellite!" shouted a random member of the   
crowd.   
  
"JUSTICE HAS FINALLY COME!!!!!" Wufei cheered while jumping up and clicking   
his heels.  



	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5   
  
three years later...   
  
  
Relena-tron 5000 wearily glanced at herself in the hallway mirror,   
which caused it to shatter all over the floor.   
"Tomorrow is my three   
year wedding anniversary, and the beginning of yet another   
struggle...I'm so scared.   
What a fine way for the date of my wedding to go down in history."   
  
"Mommy?" said a small voice, and Relena looked down at two-year-old   
Faggot Buttface Darlian Peacecraft Yuy.   
  
"What is it sweetie?"   
  
"Mommy, why is everyone so sad?" the perceptive child asked.   
  
"Why does she have to be smart?" Relena thought in confusion. She   
couldn't see how such a brilliant child   
came from her genes.   
  
"Cows go moo-moo!!" the child prodigy added and her mother was aghast   
at her overwhelming intelligence.   
  
"Why does she have to have her child-like innocence gone so soon?"   
Relena thought with envy of little Jerry. Not   
so little anymore. Jerry was now six feet tall, as were Reena and   
Aelis. Even though they were genetic freaks   
they were still well liked by everyone. But even now, Jerry hadn't   
lost his cheerful personality. Which is rather   
amazing considering all he was was a rubber ball attached to Hilde's   
ankle by way of a string "Just like his   
"father","   
Relena thought ruefully. "That's good; we'll need someone to cheer   
us up from now on."   
  
"Why mommy?"   
  
Relena swore very loudly. "Damn! Did I just say that out loud?" she   
thought wearily. "Whoops did it again." But she shocked herself out   
of her daze and reached out for her child, who ran away from her in   
terror.   
  
"Things are going to be a little difficult from now on, Fag. But you   
don't   
worry about it okay? Let Daddy and me take care of it?"   
  
"Will you and Daddy be okay?" the child shouted from behind a large   
crate.   
  
Relena hesitated, then forced a fake smile, "Of course not sweetie,   
gee and I thought you were smart."   
  
elsewhere... (hahaha we aren't going to tell you where but it is   
somewhere else)   
  
"So what do you think? Good thing we have all this technology now,   
or there's   
no way I could have finished all your gundams in time, eh?" Howard   
said, wiping sweat   
from his brow. He had gained quite a few pounds since the Endless   
Waltz thingy. (Which by the way contains   
no waltzing whatsoever and is not endless. Those mean writers were just   
trying to trick us! Speaking of never   
ending dancing, be sure to check out the new movie, Ongoing Conga in   
the Shrub of Great Strength, coming   
to theaters soon! This one is no lie! There actually will be both   
dancing and shrubbery!)   
Heero didn't look at his old friend but continued to study the   
lined-up suits.   
He listed them mentally in his mind: Wing Gundam II, Deathscythe II,   
Incredibly Overweight Woman with   
Heavyarms II, Sandrock II, Altron II, and Epyon II.   
  
"I know the names aren't exactly original, but hey, that's the least   
of our   
concerns huh?" Howard said apologetically, trying to jar the younger   
man out of his   
daydream. "Hey Heero, you still there?"   
  
"Did you install the Zero system in all of them?"   
  
"WHAT?! Are you insane?" Howard howled at the moon then did a little   
dance. "Sure, I installed them in Wing II   
and Epyon II, but you know what the Zero system did to the rest of you   
guys, right? It   
nearly drove them nuts! Well, just Quatre any way, but he's fruity so   
who cares? Plus, none of you have   
handled an MS in four years...right?" he finished, throwing Heero a   
suspicious glance.   
  
"Do it anyway," Heero said flatly. "We don't have a choice."   
  
"Fine fine," Howard muttered, turning back to the gundams. "Heero,   
you really   
believe this guy's serious? I mean okay!" he said, throwing up his   
hands in defense   
when Heero fixed him with a glare. "Sure they blew up a satellite   
with civilians on it, and sure   
they've got firepower, but how powerful is the PILOT? Is he even   
strong enough to push the buttons? A mobile   
suit is no good without a   
good pilot, as I'm sure you know."   
  
"No shit, Howard. This guy's good."   
  
Howard heaved a sigh. "Okay Heero. Whatever you say. I'll install   
the Zero systems."   
  
Heero nodded, and turned to leave, then hesitated.   
  
"Howard, what improvements did you make on the gundams?"   
  
Howard shrugged and said, "Sorry Heero, I couldn't really do much,   
not in three   
years. Cause I'm really slow, dumb and blind in my right eye.   
Remember, Relena's stupid disarmament plan   
included the destruction of all the data on the   
gundams. So basically, your gundams really suck now, and my memory's   
not so good these days you know...But   
I did add a nifty little function that would disable the Zero system   
with a push   
of a button," he said smugly. "And besides, it's probably better if   
you six are fighting gundams   
you are all familiar with. I made these guys carbon copies of the   
originals. Even though I just said I had no record   
of the old ones so they are just from my really crapped up memory so   
I'm not sure if they can even fly."   
  
Heero stopped, thought for a moment, and then left.   
  
elsewhere...   
  
"Trowa, you will be careful won't you? You won't try to self-  
detonate again   
right?"   
  
"How many times must I tell you?! That's Heero's job you ignorant   
circus woman!" shouted Trowa.   
  
Catherine had been anxious, while helping Trowa move the last of his   
things into   
Quatre's private home in space. Trowa didn't respond. Cathrine   
sighed, then said, "Okay Trowa,   
I know that's probably too much to ask from you, but at least, will   
you make sure not to   
self-detonate until you know you have no other choice whatsoever?"   
  
Trowa paused in his work and turned to regard the woman he had come   
to think of   
as a sister, then said, "No! I'm not your brother anymore! Go away!".   
Cathrine smiled in relief. "Well, that's   
good. I guess   
that's the most I'll be able to get out of you anyway."   
  
elsewhere...   
  
"Dorothy, are you sure you want to come? It's dangerous, you're   
pregnant,   
and-" Quatre faded as Dorothy shot him with a gun. "Well," he said   
lamely, "don't you care   
about the baby?" As soon as those words were out Quatre noticed what   
Dorothy was doing.   
  
Dorothy mercilessly beat her stomach with a large lead pipe several   
times before she noticed Quatre staring   
at her.., "Huh, what?" She looked up sheepishly   
"Quatre Raberba Winner! Don't you DARE patronize me! And don't you   
dare bring   
the baby into this mess! I've been carrying it for 8 months; I know   
EXACTLY how to   
handle it!" Dorothy finished belligerently, daring Quatre to argue.   
  
Needless to say, Quatre gave up.   
  
elsewhere...   
  
"Hey Dad! Can I pilot your suit? Huh? Can I? It looks so   
awesome!"   
  
"Jericho Maxwell! Get back here!"   
  
"But Mo-om..."   
  
"You idiot, you can't pilot a gundam, you are just a rubber ball."   
  
Duo winced. He had never seen Hilde this angry. "I guess this can   
get to even   
the most relaxed of us," he thought wearily. But then he realized   
Hilde always had a bad temper. He still couldn't   
believe the hectic   
three years were over, and tomorrow was the day. All during those   
three years, they'd been   
frantically planning, getting back into shape, re-memorizing the   
various codes, digging up   
old documents that would serve no purpose at all...And it didn't help   
that the general public was in a frenzy.   
Relena   
spent almost no time at home. She was either rudely yelling at the   
people to remain calm or   
helping Dorothy prepare the space station for their base.   
  
"It's a wonder we all haven't gone gray overnight," Duo thought.   
  
Next to him, Hilde ran her hand through her silver gray hair and   
tried to ignore the sulky   
looks of her rubber ball.   
  
"I don't even know myself anymore," she sighed to herself. "I can't   
believe this is really happening. For the past three years, I've   
been hoping I would wake up   
from this nightmare, but now, seeing these gundams, I know that this   
is no dream."   
  
"Well maybe the gundams are part of the dream. It's not like they are   
only allowed to be seen in real life you   
know.... wait! You saw Deathscythe???"   
  
"Yea... I've seen it like a million times..."   
  
"Ahh! You must go to hell now! You saw me!" Duo said as he reached for   
some large object with which he   
could strike Hilde over the head with.   
  
elsewhere...   
  
Wufei was meditating in a clearing. He had moved his belongings up   
to the   
station a long time ago because he is really anal, and had already   
tested his new suit, which had already been   
christened Nataku, gee, what a surprise, not. Though he appeared   
calm on the   
outside, inside, he was full of internal organs. He hadn't been the   
same since the day he found out Sally Po   
had been on that satellite, and had obviously died when it exploded.   
From then, he had sworn to   
kill the mysterious pilot responsible for her death, since he wanted   
to be the one to bring that cursed woman to   
her end. Even though they had separated a long time ago, Sally finding   
his chauvinistic ideas just too difficult to deal   
with, he still   
felt an attachment to her, an attachment that he wanted to kill over   
and over again. He could remember how he   
had raged at the pilot at first,   
then frantically joined the other Preventers in an effort to find out   
any information about this   
organization.   
When that failed, he quit his job and instead spent the rest of his   
time honing   
his skills. Now, that Wufei can make some darn good pancakes. Plus,   
he had a nagging feeling about the other   
mobile suit that just wouldn't   
go away.   
  
"It's called Tinky Winky..." Wufei mused, and shuddered. "Sounds like   
the name of a mighty war god or   
something..." Just the name of the suit   
was enough to bring back memories he had forgotten, memories he   
hadn't ever shared   
with anyone, not even Sally.   
  
Had not realized this "clearing" he was in was actually some strange   
man's backyard. He was reminded of   
this when a fat, sweaty man walked by, pushing a very loud lawnmower.   
  
"INJUSTICE!!!!" he exploded, he was very angered about this man   
jerking him out of his comatose state with   
that newfangled contraption's unbearable noise.   
"For what you've done, I swear I will kill you!"   
  
elsewhere...   
  
"Mariemaia! You are NOT coming with me!"   
  
"Oh yes I am!"   
  
"NO!"   
  
"YES!"   
  
"Mariemaia, I'm your mother now!" Lady Une exploded. It was quite   
messy and left Mariemaia covered in bits of   
Lady Une.   
  
"Whoopie! I'm free!!" Mariemaia cheered. She then realized that Lady   
Une's explosion just took out a large   
chunk of chapter five.   
  
"Looks like I'll just have to argue with myself now..." Though   
Mariemaia. She then continued with her raging   
dispute against Lady Une's orders. "Yes, you're my mother now; I don't   
deny that. But that doesn't mean you   
always know what's best for me! And what's best for me right now is to   
be able to go with you!" Mariemaia shot back   
with clenched fists.   
  
Mariemaia jumped over to where Lady Une had been standing and   
massaged her temples; they had begun   
arguing about this issue ever   
since the day the speaker had issued his challenge. "Mariemaia," she   
began calmly, but was abruptly cut off as she   
jumped back, taking on the role as herself again. She decided jumping   
was too hard so she fashioned a Lady   
Une hand puppet out of a sock and some string.   
  
"LISTEN TO ME! I'm NOT a little girl anymore! I'm a teenager; I   
know exactly what's going on! Staying here on   
Earth isn't going to help; I'll just worry myself sick! Don't you want   
me to be as happy as possible?! Don't you want   
me to be by your side?!" Mariemaia finished as the first tears began   
squeezing out of her eyes.   
  
"No I don't! Go away!" said Sock Puppet Une.   
  
"I WANT TO GO!! I can take care of myself; you made sure of that. I   
can use firearms, I can even pilot a Taurus   
mobile suit. I can outrun most people, and not just in my own age   
group but in my "special" abilities group too.   
And I've also been getting myself into shape for these past years!   
Lookie! I'm a triangle! PLEASE! Let... me...GO!"   
  
Finally, Lady Une couldn't take it anymore. She broke down crying,   
just like her daughter, who did her best to hug   
the sock puppet.   
  
"Fine," Sock Puppet Une choked through her imaginary tears. "Fine,   
you win. I'll let you go."   
  
"Booya, bitch! Who's the winner now?!" Mariemaia yelled in the sock   
puppets face. She then followed   
through with a nicely choreographed victory dance, ending with   
Mariemaia spiking the sock puppet down   
into the ground, landing on her knees, pulling her shirt off, and   
swinging it around above her head.   
  
elsewhere...   
  
"Zechs, is it really best for Reena and Aelis to come?" Noin began   
worridly.   
"They're only six feet tall."   
  
Glancing up from packing, Zechs said, somewhat ruefully, "Haven't you   
seen Mariemaia argue with Lady Une? You   
know Reena and Aelis are just as strong-willed."   
  
"But Lady Une was a sock puppet. Besides, she is older than us too."   
  
"What else CAN we do? We don't know if they'll attack the Earth when   
we're in space. Chances are, the twins are   
safer with us, seeing as how we are targets for an attack."   
  
Noin sighed. "I know that you're right, but I'm so worried! What if   
they   
attack the space station when we're not there?"   
  
Zechs stood up. "What if this, what if that. There are thousands of   
things that could happen, all of which would   
endanger the twins. Yes, they could attack the station; they could   
infect it with rabid Brazilian midgets for all I care.   
Really Lucrezia, I'm speaking hypothetically!" he said when he saw the   
shocked expression on her face. "All I'm   
saying is that the twins will be SOMEWHAT safer in space with us rather   
than Earth away from us, where we'd have   
no idea what'd be going on. Try to calm down," he said, going over to   
massage her shoulders.   
"We still have one day."   
  
  
The Gundam pilots and their friends weren't the only ones preparing.   
Somewhere, hidden in space, the mysterious pilot was staring at the   
Tinky Winky since he couldn't figure out   
how to get its door open. "Let the games begin Tinky Winky," the   
figure whispered and held up a bat to the   
unruly doors.   



	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
Well, Chapter 6 doesn't really seem to be here. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to do   
without it. Nothing really happens any way. What REALLY happened was, me and   
Laura have very bad counting skills, so instead of counting Chapter 6, we jumped to   
chapter 8. Silly us.  



	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
Nope, still not here. Keep going!  



	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8   
  
"Why didn't you finish them?" a voice demanded.   
  
Removing the helmet, the pilot said, "Well, if the battle was boring   
enough to completely leave out from the   
story, I didn't really feel like winning. Besides, I'm interested in   
making this last as long   
as possible; have some fun in the process. Like in Dragon Ball Z. I   
will befriend a midget with no nose and have   
him twitch and stuff to pass the time. Besides, those suits interest   
me. They may not be made of X-Gundanium,   
as Tinky Winky is, but they are a good source of raw materials,   
materials you will need.   
  
The first speaker seemed to consider this, then nodded. "Yes, you are   
right.   
You truly have become the perfect fighting machine. Even though your   
too stupid to win when you had the   
chance and now those defenseless retards will somehow manage to defeat   
us even though it seems they   
have no chance whatsoever."   
  
Bowing, the pilot said, "All thanks to you. If you excuse me, I would   
like to   
take a quick shower because I smell terribly."   
  
on the space station...   
  
"HEERO! Heero, oh God, what HAPPENED out there? Suddenly you and   
Wufei and Trowa just froze! What the heck   
happened to you three? Heero, what's the matter with your head?!"   
Relena-tron 5000 blurted as she hurried down to help her husband out of   
his suit. Not his mobile suit, mind you.   
Tee hee hee. Zechs emerged from his   
suit, unhurt, but furious, his pride injured. "I can't believe I was   
defeated so early!" he   
fumed.   
  
Wufei was not in better shape. Disoriented from the head pain, and   
shamed, he   
could only murmur as he forced himself out of his suit,   
"INJUSTICE!!!!," before he collapsed, gasping for breath,   
bowing to Nataku over and over again.   
  
A shaky Quatre was helped by a frantic Dorothy,   
and Trowa was aided by Cathrine, who was almost crying. Duo was   
dragged out by Hilde since had no legs. The   
pilots regarded each other silently for a moment, until Duo broke the   
silence.   
  
"What did I tell you? We're screwed."   
  
"No, no," Hilde said firmly. "You've survived one battle; improvements   
can be   
made on the Gundams, you can fight again!"   
  
"Again? God, Maxwell doesn't even have legs! Do you want us to fight   
until we are completely limbless bodies   
that can't even move on our own??" Zechs barked like a puppy for no   
reason. "That pilot knew us and our suits   
weaknesses perfectly. Plus, we can't use the Zero system at all. Stupid   
Howard has gone senile these past few   
years and couldn't even make a paper airplane if our lives depended on   
it. We'd have to develop something   
new, and   
that takes time, which is something we don't have."   
  
"We could try to develop a time machine and take it into the past and   
steal our gundam's from ourselves and   
use them to fight now and then return them when we are done," Quatre   
suggested. "That pilot was too good. He   
had to been using SOME sort of system similar to the Zero but   
not the same, or he would have been affected too."   
  
"Good idea...not," Duo said. "Just look at that station; it's a   
fortress. It's got mobile dolls surrounding the whole thing; we can't   
hack into their main   
computer; and we have no idea what defenses they have on it."   
  
"So now what?" Relena-tron 5000 said fearfully.   
  
Heero stared at the floor. "Let's do the hokey pokey!!"   
  
Suddenly one of the technicians called to them.   
  
"You guys better look at this! That guy's back!"   
  
Wearily, they looked at each other. Finally, Duo sighed.   
  
"We don't have much of a choice. Ready to be humiliated again?"   
  
As they gathered around the screen, the look on the pilot's face was   
clearly disgusting.   
  
"That...Was...Pathetic," the pilot said loudly and clearly, pausing to   
think about what she should say next,   
enunciating each   
word. "I... had... doubts.... about... your... abilities... three   
...years... ago, but ....this ....exceeds.... my... doubts.   
That... wasn't.... even ....a .....battle." The battle had obviously   
affected his speech.   
  
"And your point is..." Wufei said wearily.   
  
"My point is, there's no point in fighting you. You can be written   
off, since   
the six of you certainly are no obstacle. However, your suits are of   
interest to me..."   
  
"Me? Oh, so you're referring to yourself now, instead of 'they'?" Duo   
said somewhat sarcastically, not completely   
sarcastic however.   
  
"Yes, me. Duh, my superiors are in favor of destroying you, but I told   
them that I wished to fight with honor. Which is why I am fighting you   
even though you are pretty much   
defenseless... gosh I'm stupid. I don't make any sense at all, even to   
myself. Therefore, they will not be wiping   
you and your pathetic little resistance group. You must learn to do   
that yourselves.. But I think your gundams will   
come in handy, as far as raw materials are concerned..."   
  
"RAW MATERIALS?!" Zechs roared, bared his teeth and shook his mane then   
ran off at high speed to go chase   
a zebra.   
  
"You must learn to control your temper, Mr. Merquise. It is a sign of   
weakness."   
  
"I NEED NO ADVICE FROM YOU, YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH MEANIE FACE DOO   
DOO BRAINED STUPID   
HEAD!" Zechs yelled back and stuck out his tongue.   
  
"Tsk tsk. Well aren't you mister potty mouth, I intend on obtaining   
your gundams. To do that, I   
will need to eliminate you, but in the most honorable way possible.   
So...I advise that   
you each watch your backs, for I am a backstabber. Whoops, that is very   
unhonorable. Oh well. Who cares. I   
have no desire to become a thief, but if the owners are out of   
the way... I can steal them... oh damn. That would make me a thief   
after all..." and the speaker complained, his   
lips quivering, trying to hold back his tears of frustration. "Why are   
you stupid pilots so frustrating to deal   
with?!?! No wonder you won all your battles! All your enemies would   
rather die than have to deal with you!"   
  
"Your technology is far superior than ours. Why do you need the   
materials?"   
Trowa said in a very controlled voice. Quatre giggled as he fiddled   
with some buttons and switches on his   
remote control that he had made for controlling every singe one of   
Trowa's actions.   
  
"Though gundanium is nothing compared to what Tinky Winky is made of,   
raw materials   
are raw materials, and will come in handy. However, the other reason   
I'm interested in   
obtaining your gundams is because They are so very pretty and shiny.   
Boy oh boy do I like shiny things.   
*giggle*. Face to face,   
however, I wonder if the view will be different."   
  
"So you want to fight us, face to face, is that right?"   
  
"No you retard I want to see your pretty gundam's up close duh.   
Gosh why do I always have to deal with such morons!."   
  
And with that, the screen went blank.   



	9. Chapter 10

Chapter 10   
  
Finally, it was Quatre and Dorothy and Duo and Hilde who decided to   
answer the   
pilot's challenge.   
  
"For heaven's sake, be careful, all of you," a worried Cathrine said.   
"I know   
I don't know too much about this, cause all I am is a demented circus   
freak and I'm not sure why I'm here in the   
first place ... but just watch television, okay?"   
  
"Don't worry so much Cathrine," Hilde said, trying to cheer her up.   
"We know   
how to take care of ourselves so leave us the hell alone."   
  
Cathrine nodded uncertainly, but inside, she thought, "But if you know   
how to   
take care of yourselves, why did last night happen?"   
  
at the moon...   
  
"I still remember how I came here to pick up Relena's wedding present,"   
Dorothy   
said wistfully. "It was really heavy. My arms were sore for a week."   
  
Quatre nodded absently, and said "Maybe we shouldn't have gotten her   
that sack of lead." but was scanning the   
crowd more than he was listening to   
his wife. He really doubted that scanning the crowd would give him any   
hint of who the pilot   
was, I mean he hadn't given them ANY distinguishing features to go by   
at all. "How they heck am I supposed   
to pic out an incredibly muscular woman wrestler mooning the first   
floor of the shopping mall..." Quatre   
thought to himself. He also kept checking   
the device on his wrist every few seconds. Catherine had told him it   
was a strange device called a WATCH. With   
this device, if any of them disappeared, they wouldn't know where. So   
far, he counted   
four blinking numbers. They read 12:00.. Quatre wondered what the   
strange blinking numbers meant. Quatre   
allowed himself a small sigh of relief, then turned his attention   
back to Dorothy.   
  
"Let's go there," Dorothy said, tugging on his arm. Seeing her husband   
hesitate, she smiled sadly. "I know, it sounds shallow, but we need to   
act normal don't we?   
Plus, I'll go crazy just standing here, waiting for something or   
someone to swoop down on me."   
Quatre smiled, and nodded. Putting his arm around her, he said,   
"Alright, let's go."   
  
elsewhere...   
  
"Duo, checking that thing every five seconds is not going to help!" an   
exasperated Hilde said. "I mean, I know we should be cautious, but we   
stick out like sore thumbs here, just standing   
around!"   
  
Duo glanced at his wife, sighed, and said, "Okay, you win. Let me just   
talk to   
Quatre, and we'll go and try to look normal, okay?"   
  
in a store...   
  
"Quatre? Hey Quatre, you there?"   
  
Quatre jumped at the sound of Duo's voice, nearly dropping the crystal   
poodle he   
was holding.   
  
"Yes what is it?!" he said frantically. "Is Hilde okay? Are you okay?   
Oh   
no, don't tell me..."   
  
"Quatre! Relax! I'm just checking to see if you're okay, and since   
you obviously are, I am now going to pretend to go   
shopping with my ugly wife like any other guy,   
okay?"   
  
Quatre breathed a sigh of relief. "No! That is NOT okay! You are not   
allowed to have any fun at all! ...I'm doing   
the same right   
now."   
  
"Okay man. Over and out."   
  
Quatre sighed. "Whew," he thought. "I nearly just had a heart   
attack."   
  
"Quatre! Come over here!" Dorothy called.   
  
"Okay," Quatre said, and started to make his way through the crowded   
store. As   
he fought his way through the mob, he felt something prick him. Too   
late, he   
realized that he had just been stung by a bee, and he sagged down, and   
was promptly dragged   
through a door that was standing in the middle of the store, seeing as   
how this WAS a home decor place. The   
figure found the WATCH, plucked it off, and pocketed it. He figured he   
could pawn the crappy watch for at least   
five bucks. Then the figure   
looked at the device on his wrist and noted the positions of the other   
dots.   
  
"Quatre? Oh, where did he disappear to?" Dorothy said in an   
exasperated voice.   
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Dorothy's heart gave a   
lurch and she   
frantically checked her tracing device. Her face drained of blood when   
she slit her throat.   
  
in another store...   
  
"Duo! DUO!"   
  
At the sound of the voice, Duo quickly turned from the naked woman he   
was admiring and dove into a corner.   
"Dorothy?"   
  
"Oh God Duo! Quatre's gone!"   
  
"Holly macaroons!," Duo breathed, checking his tracing device. Sure   
enough, there were   
only three dots. "Okay, Duo, breathe in, breathe out," he told   
himself, then went back to Dorothy. "Dorothy, I want you   
out of there pronto! Get yourself in this store okay? Use the force!"   
  
"I don't know where the hell you are, stupid!" Dorothy sobbed. "Oh my   
God, they got Quatre!"   
  
"Dorothy! Listen to me! You can't do anything for Quatre right now;   
just get   
your butt over here now!"   
  
That unpleasant exchange over, Duo hurriedly found Hilde, and filled   
her in on   
what had just happened. Hilde's face drained of blood because she too   
slit her throat, just as Dorothy's had done.   
  
"Oh my God, now what do we do?"   
  
"We stick together, that's what," Duo said grimly, linking his arm   
through   
Hilde's. "And we wait for Dorothy. Even though Dorothy is standing   
right next to you but we must wait. Then we   
stay with people and hope that when this guy comes back for the second   
round, one of us sees him and finishes him."   
  
"Duo, I am so constipated!"   
  
"I understand perfectly... it happens to the best of us."   
  
It wasn't easy passing time. Both Duo and Hilde periodically checked   
their   
watches to make sure Dorothy was on her way. Sure enough, soon her   
golden haired head was visible on a pole   
outside of the home decor place.   
  
"Dorothy!" Hilde cried, running to embrace her pole, and then leading   
her over to   
the nearest bench.   
  
Dorothy's head was shaking in the wind, her face pale and her hands   
obviously missing. She was repeating   
nothing over and over again since she couldn't really talk. Hilde   
didn't know what to do; she felt the exact same   
way.   
Glancing over to Duo, she could see fear in his eyes, but also blazing   
anger.   
  
"I can't believe the nerve of this guy," he said furiously. "He stole   
my idea!" But at the same time, he was thinking,   
"This guy's efficient. He abducted Quatre right under our noses   
without being anywhere near us, let alone under   
our noses. Who's next?"   
  
Hilde shoved a water bottle at Dorothy. "Drink this," she ordered, but   
Dorothy's head didn't really have any way to actually grasp onto the   
bottle. Duo in the meantime was trying to   
talk with the device to figure out what time it was. The pilots really   
didn't understand the concept of this "watch"   
do-hicky. Suddenly, there was static cling on the devices, and a sock   
floated over, followed by a veterinarian.   
  
"I have neutered Quatre Raberba Winner. One down, five to go."   
  
"Neutered?!" Dorothy's head somehow gasped, her already pale face   
turning paler.   
  
"He is still alive, Mrs. Winner," the voice continued. "Over and out."   
  
And that was all.   
  
"Okay, we're out of here!" Duo said firmly. "I'm tired of playing this   
guy's   
game. I'm not winning and it's no fun!"   
  
Hilde nodded, and helped a shaky Dorothy to her feet, which had been   
tied to the pole with some string.   
"Dorothy, please be   
strong," Hilde urged. "You need to be strong if you are to help   
Quatre."   
  
Dorothy nodded, actually the wind just caused her head to bobble around   
a bit, and, shoving aside Hilde's arm,   
fell over.   
  
Hurrying out, the trio caught the nearest shuttle to the station, where   
their   
shuttle was waiting, courtesy of Quatre's incredible wealth. The   
shuttles didn't really do anything, they were just   
hired to sit around forever at random spots, should Quatre ever come by   
and want to go home. Hilde shoved   
Dorothy's head and pole on the   
shuttle first and told her to sit down, then went back out to join Duo,   
who had hesitated at the door.   
  
Duo was staring into space, a glazed look on his eyes. He was dreaming   
of donuts... lots of them. Laying a hand   
on his   
arm, Hilde said, "Let's go Duo. We can't do anything..."   
  
"I know," he said dully, "But still! I feel like we let Quatre down,   
like-"   
  
Duo's words were cut off by the sudden ignition of their shuttle.   
"What?" he   
said, spinning around. Suddenly, things got chaotic. The people hired   
to drive the shuttle were actually doing   
there job and starting the engine. Shame on them! First Duo saw   
Dorothy's head leaning on the   
window, and the look on her face told him that the shuttle had started   
itself, and there was   
nothing she could do about it. But really, she was just a head. The   
look on her face had no significance   
whatsoever. The driver was just doing his job and driving Dorothy's   
head back home. The next glance told him   
that the shuttle doors were locked.   
Then, he heard a choked cry. Whirling around, he saw a cloaked figure   
who had a gun to Hilde's   
head. Duo reached for his own gun, but the figure said, "You have a   
choice. Come with me,   
and both you and your wife will be treated uncourteously. Or I can   
kiss you both right here,   
right now. Either way, my objective will be completed. Your friend in   
there can tell your   
comrades what happened."   
  
Glowering at the speaker, Duo flung his gun to the ground, and raised   
his arms   
in surrender and said, "Can't you just kill her and leave me alone? I   
mean, come on, we'll both be a lot happier   
that way! And after all how is a head on a stick going to tell anyone   
what happened?"   
  
"Good," the figure said briskly. "Now, follow me." Helpless and   
enraged, Duo   
could only comply, while Dorothy's head did nothing as the shuttle   
lifted off.   
  



	10. Chapter 11

Chapter 11   
  
"...!" were the first words out of Dorothy's mouth   
after Zechs and Heero had broken down the door to the very poorly made   
shuttle. Dorothy immediately collapsed,   
lying completely still on the ground, not really doing anything in   
general.   
  
Relena-tron 5000 hurried forward. "Dorothy, you must be strong! You   
must try!"   
  
"...!"   
  
"Dorothy! Please! This can't be good for the baby!"   
  
At mention to the baby, Dorothy sat there and stared blankly.   
Relena-tron 5000 looked desperately to her husband and man who   
claimed to no longer be her brother. "What   
now?"   
  
Heero was already at the control panel, resolutely typing. "We managed   
to hack   
our way into a part of their computer today, though I suspect that it   
was because they allowed   
us to. Whatever the case, it will give us a means of communicating with   
them. Ah..."   
he said, as a reply immediately popped up.   
  
"What does it say?" Zechs asked, coming over. Heero waved to the   
screen.   
"Hi screen!! Hee hee! Are you gonna talk to me again?" Heero giggled.   
"Mr. Winner, along with Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell, are alive." Zechs read.   
"That's it?!"   
  
Heero shrugged, and typed in a message.   
  
"Meet...us...so...we...can...face...you...face...to...face...? You're   
challenging him?"   
  
Heero nodded.   
  
"Challenge...accepted...will...meet...on...Earth...former...site...of..  
.76th st. WAL-MART."   
  
"Well then," Zechs said. "I'm going this time."   
  
"So am I."   
  
"If that's the case, then I'm going too!" Relena-tron 5000 said rising.   
  
"NO! Can't you see we just want go get away for you and be alone for   
one damn second???" both Heero and   
Zechs shouted simultaneously.   
  
"...," Dorothy said weakly. "..."   
  
Relena-tron 5000 started to protest, then subsided. "Very well, I will   
stay here, but I'm NOT happy with this   
arrangement." With that, she turned around and left the room.   
  
Heero and Zechs glanced at each other, and Heero shrugged. "She's   
been...moody...well ever since I can   
remember but...," Heero said by means of explanation.   
  
"...?" Dorothy asked. "..."   
  
Heero paled, and Zechs turned to him furiously.   
  
"At a time like this, you're making whoopie with that girl who is no   
longer my sister, and getting her   
pregnant?!" he bellowed, furious.   
  
Giving him a sideways glance, Heero said flatly, "Don't tell me that   
you, as a married man, aren't doing the same with   
Miss Noin. Though I admit, I didn't foresee getting Relena-tron 5000   
pregnant again."   
Zechs opened him mouth to protest, but closed it. Giving Heero a nasty   
growl,   
he turned to leave and called over his shoulder, "I'll be ready in ten   
minutes. Hurry up."   
  
Dorothy sat there, and didn't move. "...," she thought wearily. "..."   
  
ten minutes later...   
  
Heero walked into the shuttle, where Zechs was already waiting. Not   
acknowledging him, Zechs simply started the engine. Just then, Relena-  
tron 5000 came into view. Jumping out of   
her clothes,   
Heero demanded, "Relena-tron 5000, just what are you doing?"   
  
Giving him an icy look, Relena-tron 5000 said, "Well, since I'm not   
allowed to go with   
you, I'm going down to hell on my own to get some new friends."   
  
Heero started to protest about her going alone, then thought better of   
it, and   
went back into the shuttle, hoping she would kill herself on the way   
down.   
  
Zechs glanced at him. "What was that about?"   
  
"Relena-tron 5000's going down to Earth for some fresh air."   
  
"Alone?"   
  
"Apparently."   
  
Zechs hesitated, then sighed and threw his hands at heero.   
"Ouch!" shouted Heero.   
"Fine then, let's go."   
  
an hour later...   
  
"You didn't happen to set up a rendezvous point with this guy didn't   
you?" Zechs   
demanded.   
  
"Did you or did you not read the message? It said 76th st. Wal-mart.'"   
  
Zechs snorted. "Oink oink! I'm a piggy like Wufei! Hee hee!"   
  
The two men wandered around Wal-mart aimlessly for a while, then   
Heero's sharp eyes   
spotted a figure standing in an alley. Motioning to Zechs, the two of   
them drew their weapons   
and walked towards the figure. Once in the feminine hygiene product   
isle, both aimed their weapons at the figure.   
  
"Stupid move," Zechs said. "You aren't even armed."   
  
A very shocked woman holding a box of tampons put up her hands in   
shock.   
  
Zechs and Heero, not putting down their weapons, inched towards the   
woman. Suddenly, the mysterious pilot   
jumped out from behind a very large display for Ultra Over-Nites with   
Wings. He held out a little thingy-ma-  
jigger that was very high-tech looking and cool. It had a nifty little   
screen that showed the view of some   
hidden spy camera.   
It showed that in the aisle across from the woman, the Oceanic Views   
aisle (you really can buy everything at   
Wal-Mart!) was Relena-tron 5000, standing at a dock and staring moodily   
at the ocean.   
  
Heero stifled a roar of outrage and instead glared at the woman. "So   
now what?" The woman, still frozen with   
shock, didn't move at all.   
  
"Relena-tron 5000 hasn't been harmed" the figure remarked drolly. "She   
doesn't even know that she is being   
watched. However, should either of you men refuse to cooperate..."   
  
"How do we know that that is Relena-tron 5000?" Zechs said, hoping to   
call the pilot's bluff.   
  
At hearing her name from some nearby place in the store, Relena-tron   
5000 glanced up momentarily,   
shrugged, and went back to staring at the ocean.   
  
"Umm.. it's a coincidence!" said Zechs.   
  
Even cloaked, the pilot gave them what seemed to be an amused look.   
"Are you daring me to order one of my people   
to shoot her?"   
  
Both Heero and Zechs subsided, though Heero was planning a way to   
quickly shoot   
the Relena-tron 5000 fatally so she would die. But the figure seemed   
to   
guess his thoughts, for the bland response that came from the depths of   
the hood was, "Oh,   
yes, you could shoot her right now, but what if she dodges the bullet?   
And also, the   
communication on this screen is two-way. If one of my people hears a   
gunshot and if I don't respond   
immediately, they have been given orders to seize her. You wouldn't   
want that, now would you, and   
not if she is pregnant now would you?"   
  
Both men stared. "How did they know that?" they both thought   
simultaneously.   
  
But the pilot had gotten impatient. "You both know the situation now.   
What is   
your choice?" the pilot said briskly. Glowering at the mysterious   
figure in front of them,   
both men dropped their weapons.  



	11. Chapter 12

Chapter 12   
  
Trowa's eyes hadn't left the screen since Heero and Zechs left. As   
soon as his favorite show Golden Girls had   
come on the   
stupid message appeared and interrupted it, he quickly read it and   
called Wufei over so he could get his show   
back on.   
  
"No need to alarm the others," he told Wufei. "What do you think?"   
  
Wufei glared at the message, wishing he could break something, so he   
did. Still, he forced   
himself to think irrationally. "Everything that has happened so far   
has played right into their hands." he said. "He   
challenges us, he wins. We challenge him, he wins. What's next?"   
  
"Well he could possibly WIN, just maybe."   
  
"I don't know any better than you do Trowa. This pilot is asking for   
a real   
duel, and with me...could he be trying to humiliate me, trying to   
replay my duel with Treize eight years ago?"   
  
"Ew no why would he want to fight you? We know this guy likes to   
humiliate us. Even though he hasn't even   
done anything all that humiliating yet."   
  
"But still, this is an odd request, but look here, he's wagering so   
much: if   
you emerge victorious, I will spare your companions...AND your suits.   
Why? Why is he wagering so much?   
  
"Maybe he's lying and knows we are stupid weaklings that could never   
win."   
  
Wufei snorted. "Oink oink! Piggy!! This guy is much too confident.   
If my pride will be my downfall, his confidence   
will be his."   
  
"Well, do we go? It says here to bring our pajamas with us."   
  
Wufei shrugged fatalistically. "We have no choice."   
  
30 minutes later...   
  
"Are you sure you want to just sneak out there, without telling   
anyone?"   
  
"Better this way. As soon as they see the message, they'll know."   
Wufei motioned with his head towards the   
large, yellow sign saying, "WE LEFT, BE BACK SOON, HUGS AND KISSES,   
WUFEI & TROWA"   
  
Trowa shrugged, then jumped into his pajamas. "Wufei," he called.   
"Do you really want me to stay out of this duel?   
There rarely is honor in war."   
  
"Yes. Watch us over the monitor, and be ready to back me up should I   
fail, but do not interfere with the duel itself.   
Hmm.. how can you back me up while not interfering with the duel?"   
Wufei stopped for a second to mumble   
to himself. "Oh well, just back me up anyway."   
  
The two remaining pilots quietly maneuvered themselves out of the   
station, then turned towards the fortress.   
Suddenly realizing they had left there entire base in the hand of an   
incredibly large 6 year old rubber ball, two   
very stupid twins, and one idiotic offspring of Relena-tron 5000. Then   
a message blinked on their screens.   
  
"Go in the east entrance?" Trowa read.   
  
"Which way is east? I mean how do you tell in space?," Wufei said.   
"I have an odd feeling that our little friend did   
not tell his superiors he was inviting us over for a slumber party   
*giggle* They would probably be very angry if   
they discovered that they weren't invited to join in on the fun."   
  
The two altered their courses, and went in the side entrance. Sure   
enough, there seemed to be no security   
measures on this side whatsoever. "He's removed them all, just for   
us," Wufei thought giddily. "Muscular female   
wrestlers sure are nice..."   
  
As soon as the pilots entered the fortress, they saw another message:   
Trowa Barton and the suits stay here. Chang   
Wufei, go into the door in front of you, turn right, and then into the   
third doorway on the right in the hallway you will   
enter.   
  
"Is it a bunny rabbit?" Trowa called.   
  
"What the Holy Canoli are you talking about??" Wufei nodded.   
  
"Good luck to you then."   
  
Wufei nodded, then started to skip merrily through the doorway.   
  
"Hey Wufei! Check this out," Trowa called.   
  
Turning, Wufei stared. There, in the shadows, was the Tinky Winky   
mobile suit.   
"What is this guy doing?!" he thought as he saw him sitting atop the   
purple teletubbie waving ecstatically.   
  
"Should we just forget this and destroy it?"   
  
"No," Wufei said, hoping he wasn't making a mistake. "Everything   
that's   
supposed to happen has happened so far. I think he's trying to prove   
to us that he does intend to conduct this   
slumber party with honor after all. Why else would he put his suit in   
the same location as ours, in plain sight?"   
  
"Maybe he just wants us to blow up his mobile suit without actually   
telling us... like he's really just being   
held captive by his 'superiors' or whoever." Trowa replied.   
  
"...Shut the hell up, Barton!" Wufei snapped as he turned once again   
and ran down the hallway. About 5   
seconds later, Trowa heard a distant thud and Wufei's angered voice   
echoing off the metallic walls of the   
base.   
"INJUSTICE!!!!" shouted the angry Chinese pilot.  
  
Sorry for the blunt ending and stuff. Our dearest friend didn't finish   
her fic yet, but we're posting this any way.  



End file.
